If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
