theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
