Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
