I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
