Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
