the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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