Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize