I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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