Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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