ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i will never coherently bang her
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
