I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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