Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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