Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
plz talk dirty to me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
