I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
