never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
