Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
