I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He did a backflip because drugs
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