I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
