i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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