Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
