between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
