I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.