She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
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so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
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We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.