i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?