Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize