I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
