the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
