Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
