I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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