Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
