how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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