I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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