Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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