He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it's not cheating when I paid for it
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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