I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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