Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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