I wish i was in the wii world.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
