The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
