It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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