conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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