I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm always down for nudity.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
