Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
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It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
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I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.