don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i am craving dick and cupcakes