You can't motorboat a personality
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.