now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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