Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
