Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
