I think I died a long time ago.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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