just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
