I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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