I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize