so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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