:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
ugly people sure do ruin things
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we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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