I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
