brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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