'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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