seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize