Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
