she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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