just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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