i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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