We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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