i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
false alarm, still single
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
