it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize