The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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