i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
