Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize